Saturday, June 9, 2007

3...2...1

So, with one week left in OB/GYN and no more clinical or floor work required (fuck yeah) I thought I’d capture the craziest and just plain bigoted statements I’ve heard on this rotation. With that being said, enjoy:

“You have to have a vagina to do that. You can’t do that without a vagina.” (nurse telling me I can’t perform a certain procedure on a patient)

“The uterus and vagina are incredible. Amazing. Truly God knew what She was doing.” (attending discussing the changes made during pregnancy and afterwards)

“The womb is sacred and should be worshipped. Bow down!” (resident screwing with me)

“I hate fat people. Can’t see shit and it smells.” (ARMY doc after speculum exam that took a little too long with a rather ripe patient)

“Anesthesia? Really? But you can’t do cool shit...like cutting people up.” (ARMY doc during a hysterectomy)

“My mom usually goes to a male OB/GYN because back in her home country most of them are males. She’s seeing one now and told me: He’s gay, but a good doctor anyway.” (friend telling me about the differences between American women wanting to see mostly female OB/GYNs and his home country)

“I had my hand deep inside her vaginal orifice” (worst medical student ever discussing his examination during morning rounds - I truly hate this jackass)

“I thought the hater-nation was over after 2nd year ended” (worst medical student again trying to fight back tears as all the medical students on service turned against him and his incessant laziness before morning rounds)

“So you put it against the os-hole?” (Another ARMY doc discussing a tool with a rep)

"I'm taking that for my Bipolar Disorder. Oh yeah (stares blankly at ceiling and then head slowly turns back towards physician) I also take it for my multiple personalities." (various patient encounters where a history was being taken)

One more week and then it’s all over. This week’s going to be fucking hard as hell - at least 5 or 6 exams, reports, presentations, etc. Just breath and get through it. It’s almost over. I had a friend tell me that she thought I'd enjoy it because there's a lot of procedures. I did like the OR, but everything else just was painful. I truly had the easiest out of most of the students and am thankful for that. God I hate OB/GYN.

4 comments:

Doc's Girl said...

Ech. Just horrible, horrible...

But, thanks for making me laugh out loud. :)

The Girl said...

Hooray! Nearly there!

Rodrigo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MedStudentGod (MSG) said...

Ok, just so we're all on the same page. I don't allow advertisements on this blog. I don't allow people to comment and try and get people to their site for purposes of increasing your hit count or generating income. And, despite understanding *some* Spanish, I will not ever allow a comment where I have to look at my online translator to understand it. So please, refrain.