Oh Yeah Moments

I'm starting to think that the people who designed the home we've moved into had a few "Oh Yeah, we need that." moments.

For instance - both bathrooms are small, lack drawers, and give the impression that the architect suddenly recalled needing to have 2 bathrooms.

Today, after getting a new washer and dryer delivered I tried to run a load of laundry. Unfortunately I couldn't open the dryer door - the hinge-door on the dryer side would not allow the left to right opening that is customary on many, many, many dryers. But, after unhooking the sliding feature on the door I could swing it wide open and, with care, open the dryer. These appliances aren't anything too large, too fancy, or too anything - normal sized.

Ah yes, the Oh Yeah moment hits again.

Ugly Celebs

Found this recently and think it's kinda funny. Have to agree on most.

VIP

We had a VIP who, even though he was in the ICU, still didn't want to have his beauty sleep disturbed. The following was a message placed on his door:


DO NOT awaken patient between the hours of 11pm and 6am unless absolutely necessary.

Lab techs, nurses, and various personnel didn't know what to do with this and kept waking up the on-call resident to get direction. Keep in mind that, in the ICU, the nurses have to do hourly checks as part of their guidelines and regulations. Most of the night they were concerned about getting in trouble just to give someone their restful sleep.

Even better for me was the fact that this patient was a still practicing physician, but had no idea what his meds were for, and had to have everything explained to him plainly - akin to layman's terms. Watching this scene play out you realize how the CME requirements are a good thing - because there are people who're practicing medicine circa 1970's.

YEEOUCH

2 hours of Stepson's baseball. 1.5 hours of Daughter's T-ball. 1 hour in between. New haircut (shorter, obviously) and poor sunscreen control. You get the idea.

Note the distinctly attractive demarcation on my receding hairline where I applied the most sunscreen and where, somehow, I failed.

Respect II

Overheard while performing the babysitting duty:


Nurse 1: "They went and ordered for [some test] on your patient".


Nurse 2: "Well, I told them that they needed to get that test...3 DAYS AGO!"


Nurse 1: "I guess they didn't feel it was needed at the time?"


Nurse 2: "Who knows what these docs are thinking? But, whateva...I'm just a lowly nurse anyway...don't know shit."


Nurse 3: "Who ever said you knew anything to begin with?"


Nurse 2: "Shut up, bitch!"


They then all proceeded to start laughing hysterically. I didn't get the joke, but the innuendo from the critical care nurses that they know more about how to take care of patients than the doctors (surgical, medical, attending, resident, or otherwise) is more than covertly spoken. But only when the docs aren't around - I apparently don't count.

Respect

A note from the ICU in which the impression on the residents and attendings is clearly manifest. Sometimes you just have to laugh. I personally enjoyed the grammatical errors that are rampant throughout.

Stoked

Psych note: Patient noted to be in chain stoking respirations. Ah, yes, stoking the chain while breathing - classic.

Super Nasty

Something that I’ve gotten used to is the idea that hospital’s are gross. People believe that they get the best care and won’t get sick there, but often they end up with more virulent strains of bacteria and other fun pathogens than are out there in the world if they stay for more than a couple days. Patients want to stay, we want them out – before they catch a hospital acquired anything and Medicare refuses to treat an inevitability.

I’ve also realized just how dirty the white coats, scrubs, and other materials healthcare workers wear or use regularly can get. Therefore, my indignation and abhorrence at the following situation has nothing to do with me being a pompous, self-righteous, gym freak, but more from an appreciation of the nastiness being spread.

I ran into a guy in hospital scrubs the other night who looked every bit a male nurse. He was sweating over everything, through the scrubs, and onto the benches, chairs, etc. I hoped that 45 minutes of cardio would be sufficiently long enough for me to not have to associate with him and his profuse secretions. Unfortunately a comely female joined him 30 minutes into my workout and they proceeded to regale each other with stories from the hospital. Evidently they work in the same hospital, if not the same unit, and were bullshitting while they went through perfunctory maneuvers. During this time I learned he'd worked earlier that day.

After finishing my cardio, wiping off my own sweaty brow, I proceeded to the bench and performed some dumbbell chest exercises. I draped a towel over the bench in order to catch my perspiration and avoid contaminating myself from anyone else (like disgusting Bob over there).

Halfway through I got a drink and watched, to my absolute horror, as the sweaty male nurse, still perspiring profusely, got on the bench and proceeded to do some work – while my towel remained! I waited for him to conclude and let him know the proper etiquette for gyms. I then told him about the obscene display he was creating working out with his scrubs and most likely the transfer of serious bacteria throughout the room. He was offended, told me to chill, and received another tongue lashing from me regarding the erroneous impression he had about his behavior. These are, I reminded him, the very conditions needed for MRSA and other infections to be acquired - humid environment with physical activity and potential skin breakage.

Had I not been keen to the notion of transmitting disease pathogens from clothing I might have just asked him to not use the bench when I was still clearly in possession. However, I can’t get past the purely abhorrent nature of what he did. To further let him know just how upset about the situation I was I threw the towel in the trash.

Too Pretty

I saw this on one of Wife's celebrity news shows yesterday. It was hilarious to watch - since it was clearly evident that these "pretty" bitches were the trouble. Their pictures that they gave the "news program" to use were rather trashy as well. It was great.

By far the best part was when the blond admitted to starting a yelling match with a passenger after she felt they'd been in the bathroom too long. Another factor against them being singled out for being too pretty? The fact that the FBI had to get involved after they landed. It seems to me they are the problem.

Coddled? Yeah, I think so too. I applaud Southwest for having the guts to actually stick up and deny people like this their "rights".

Scary as Hell

Here are a couple pics of a car that my family and I saw while shopping the other day. This spot, in case you can't tell, is a handicapped parking spot that's supposed to be lengthwise - like a spot for a large van or bus. However, this individual parked as if it was a pull in (similar to the cars opposite it). What's even better is the fact that, even though they parked like it was a pull in spot, they were still a mile away from the pole where the "Van Accessible" handicap sign was posted...ass hanging out all over the place. Despite being humorous (we all had a great laugh going in and coming out) I find it very scary that someone who can't figure out how to park in a single handicapped spot is still allowed to drive.

If you're curious, no, we didn't see who was driving. And yes, we were at Target.

Oh Dear

Stepson came up to me and asked me a rather innocent question:

"How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?"

Oh god, I thought...here it comes.

"I have no idea." I stated, waiting for the obviously adolescent punch line.

"Because Burger King couldn't keep his whopper in his pants!"

Ah, yes, middle school.

I'm Getting Nothin' For Christmas...

Dropping off Daughter at her preschool the other morning she began to tell her teacher about all the presents under our tree. She then explained that there were 3 presents for her, 3 for Stepson, and 2 for daddy. Her teacher, apparently oblivious to men’s penchant to shop at the last minute, asked where mommy’s gifts were. Daughter looked at her with a remorseful look and, in her most grave voice, said:

“They’re gone. She doesn’t get any 'cause Santa’s mad at her. She not be good.”

I guess I’d better get to it and get at least one thing under the tree.

Crazy Bitch

I’d heard that you can run into people that you’ve seen at external rotations or at other interviews on the interview trail. Certainly I've had a few encounters beyond the initial, but the other day I ran into a female student whom I’d interacted with during my 1st external rotation.

She, being on a Psych rotation, had been in the ORs occasionally when ECT treatments were being administered. We had talked, because we were curious of the process, and during that time our interactions were professional, brief, and pleasant. Running into her during a prolonged wait in an airport somewhere in the US, however, had a very different feel.

Now, I must inform you that she was quite comely. She also held the rare ability to take over a room upon her entrance and smells great. She is, essentially, a siren of healthcare. Patients loved talking to her, having her around, and she was always loved by the healthcare team. When I ran into her she still held this essence. What changed, though, was her demeanor.

She was nuts. Not just a little, either, but full blown crazy! She began by yelling "HI!" loudly, trying to hug me, which I deferred, then ran into a non-stop regurgitation of her interviews. She talked with great enthusiasm about the other candidates and what she thought about each and everyone, her voice reaching levels so high that I found others watching us. As I tried to get a word in edge-wise she launched into her time at the external hospital, how much fun she had, and the (here it comes) intimate interactions she had during that rotation.

I wanted to stop her, but she continued. Continued to let me know that she had met several nice people, they’d partied, and ultimately fucked. Hard - and long – and over and over again. She was detailed to the point of obscene at points, and I finally had to tell her my flight was close, said goodbye, and walked away. She again tried to hug me and I walked faster. A small crowd of lustful men and astonished women had formed a semi-circle around us, making my departure even more frustrating.

My mind was screaming – what the hell was that! Why did she feel that she needed to inform me of her “activities”? Why did she keep trying to hug me? Damn!

Thankfully I did not see her again, as I still had 3 more hours of waiting before my flight boarded, but I was looking around like mad. I didn’t want another encounter, with an X-rated description of her debauchery, and the expected attempts at physical interaction. Yikes!

BFE

Image of the parking lot at the hospital where I’m doing a rotation. I have to catch the shuttle from here to get to the hospital. Clearly the lot is so far away from any building that they feel porta-potties are needed – since you won’t be able to hold it.

Hot Doc Plate

As requested - here is the picture of the "Hot Doc" license plate. Once again, tool.

Funniest Moments

I’ve seen some rather interesting events while in medical school. From the apparent "horrific" use of the word "Oriental" rather than "Asian" by a classmate our first year, to the obviously homosexual classmate who had, up to this point, attempted to claim being straight only to admit his alternative lifestyle while in a surgical case and then suddenly remember that I was on the other side of the curtain and try to blow it off, I’ve seen quite a smattering of funny moments.

However, taking the cake is the neurosurg resident that sings, dances, and performs ballet in the OR, while in sterile garb. But wait, it gets better. One day she began to curse and berate herself regarding her troubles closing an incision while her attending was in another case and proceeded to amuse the OR staff with her difficulty.

F-bombs were launched without abandon while the scrub tech constantly asked her to watch her language. 45 minutes of waiting, hearing her alternate from singing curses to loudly yelling profanities, and catching the bug-eyed look on my attending’s face as he walked into the room - expecting the patient to be close to awakening – only to find the situation had not progressed much from the last half hour, was priceless.

Although I guess you had to be there to enjoy the humor.

Simpson'd MSG

Alrighty, saw this fun little item and figured I'd try it out. Here is what I would look like as a Simpson's character:
Meet MSG!

Oh yeah...here's the website: http://simpsonizeme.com/#

Adult Situations

Found this at ATM and thought it was fun. Apparently I'm rather hardcore because:

Mingle² - Online Dating

So please, read at your own risk and no one under 17 years of age will be allowed admittance without an adult.

Parcho's Hand In A Box

Found this over at Parcho, MD. Fortuitous find I must say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoWpyliUHn4

And no, you can't get offended. Or if you do just remember I'm immature.