YEEOUCH

2 hours of Stepson's baseball. 1.5 hours of Daughter's T-ball. 1 hour in between. New haircut (shorter, obviously) and poor sunscreen control. You get the idea.

Note the distinctly attractive demarcation on my receding hairline where I applied the most sunscreen and where, somehow, I failed.

Super Nasty

Something that I’ve gotten used to is the idea that hospital’s are gross. People believe that they get the best care and won’t get sick there, but often they end up with more virulent strains of bacteria and other fun pathogens than are out there in the world if they stay for more than a couple days. Patients want to stay, we want them out – before they catch a hospital acquired anything and Medicare refuses to treat an inevitability.

I’ve also realized just how dirty the white coats, scrubs, and other materials healthcare workers wear or use regularly can get. Therefore, my indignation and abhorrence at the following situation has nothing to do with me being a pompous, self-righteous, gym freak, but more from an appreciation of the nastiness being spread.

I ran into a guy in hospital scrubs the other night who looked every bit a male nurse. He was sweating over everything, through the scrubs, and onto the benches, chairs, etc. I hoped that 45 minutes of cardio would be sufficiently long enough for me to not have to associate with him and his profuse secretions. Unfortunately a comely female joined him 30 minutes into my workout and they proceeded to regale each other with stories from the hospital. Evidently they work in the same hospital, if not the same unit, and were bullshitting while they went through perfunctory maneuvers. During this time I learned he'd worked earlier that day.

After finishing my cardio, wiping off my own sweaty brow, I proceeded to the bench and performed some dumbbell chest exercises. I draped a towel over the bench in order to catch my perspiration and avoid contaminating myself from anyone else (like disgusting Bob over there).

Halfway through I got a drink and watched, to my absolute horror, as the sweaty male nurse, still perspiring profusely, got on the bench and proceeded to do some work – while my towel remained! I waited for him to conclude and let him know the proper etiquette for gyms. I then told him about the obscene display he was creating working out with his scrubs and most likely the transfer of serious bacteria throughout the room. He was offended, told me to chill, and received another tongue lashing from me regarding the erroneous impression he had about his behavior. These are, I reminded him, the very conditions needed for MRSA and other infections to be acquired - humid environment with physical activity and potential skin breakage.

Had I not been keen to the notion of transmitting disease pathogens from clothing I might have just asked him to not use the bench when I was still clearly in possession. However, I can’t get past the purely abhorrent nature of what he did. To further let him know just how upset about the situation I was I threw the towel in the trash.

Phew!

I was driving home the other day after taking stepson back to his dad's. I was listening to the radio and looked down at the clock while changing stations. 8:15pm.

Suddenly a cold sweat broke out on my forehead.

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "Did I certify my list?"

You see, it was the 27th of February, the last day to certify and submit rank lists for the match, and I couldn't remember if I'd certified the last time I made a change. The time to get those done was by 8 pm my time. I was already past the time if I hadn't...I cranked up the accelarator and raced home.

As soon as I arrived I checked - and, much to my relief, found that I had indeed certified. If I hadn't I'd have been SOL for this year. Thank god.

A Little Too Calm During the Storm

So apparently the storms that came through here the other day were actually a huge deal. I heard that they were some of the worst seen in the last decade or so…which makes me kinda puzzled.

You see, I was at my apartment’s gym, working out, and could see the lightening flashes, the downpour of rain, and hear the gusts of wind – but didn’t think anything about it despite normal programming being interrupted to warn about the twister formations. Didn't consider that I should go into a room that wasn't lined with large windows, or that I probably shouldn't have walked back home when the red from the doppler radar was centered around where we live. Even though I know the warmth that day would surely lead to tornado conditions and the storm was definitely making some trouble, I didn’t seem to care.

Since moving to this area I've had some history with severe weather, but have been less than concerned about it.

When I was in undergrad I apparently wasn’t aware of the tornado siren and walked to class while one was within a few miles. Some of my classmates yelled at me when I walked into the building for being an idiot and witnessed the proximity of the destruction later as I drove home.

Another time the store where I was a security manager* had the roof severely damaged by hail and high winds while a tornado ripped through a rural area 5 miles away. When it began to rain the water poured through into our building, causing some of the lights to spark and forcing us to use tarps and turn off all but the most essential lights. Maybe my calmness resulted from the fact that we were ordered by the district manager to stay open – despite the water coming in everywhere and lights shooting off sparks. I’m surprised no one was hurt.

So what I’m saying, I guess, is that I might want to take these warnings a little more seriously. My family and everyone we know are OK, but jeez. After all, it’s people like me who end up getting carried away, into Munchkin Land, because we’re walking around like idiots.

* Call me rent-a-cop and I'll kick your ass!

Waiting, Just Waiting

I still haven't heard from the AOA committee. I heard that they might have been meeting last week, but it wasn't for sure. I know that those elected are informed quickly, so I've begun to think I wasn't elected in - again.

...anyone know a good lawyer?

*** Update: I was elected into AOA! Found out a couple days ago, but have been too busy to post recently.***

Oh Really?

Last year the school was late in getting out some of the Dean's letters for residency and people had to have personal favors from attendings to keep interviews. We were told, by everyone, that this would not happen again. We were promised up and down, backwards and forwards that the school had their stuff right this time around. I didn't believe it.

Currently I'm sitting with less than 2 weeks before I fly out of town for a month and I've yet to meet with the dean about my ERAS. She requires my transcript, letters of recommendation (or at least knows who has turned theirs in), and a photo of me to scan into the ERAS system. Of course, despite trying to get an appointment several times a week, I have no date to meet with her.

I'm getting the feeling that I'm going to get screwed for the month or so while I'm away. I have no idea why the school can't keep their shit together, but right now I'm fucking pissed - and worried. Programs start downloading and offering interviews next month. My application is almost complete - the only thing stopping me from submitting is my dean's office.

To add to this distress is the fact that I have a large pimple on my face that decided to rear its ugly head right at the time I was trying to get a nice, professional pic taken. I guess I can use some makeup if I need to, but this is definitely not something I want program directors to remember about me:

Hey, what about that guy with the large ass pimple? Wasn't that hilarious?! But of course we could never have someone like him as a resident. What with the hygiene issues and all...pitty.

Calm, Cool, Not So Collected

Obviously I’ve been busy getting ready for the exam looming ever so close. Recently I had a complete panic attack - OK, Sunday and Monday I was freaking. I’ve heard multiple people talking about how Step 2 CK is now as important, if not more, than the Step1 exam that is infamous for causing medical student panic attacks worldwide (congrats to all those who’ve passed it BTW).

When I entered medical school there was a phrase regarding the 3 exams required to become a licensed practitioner: Step 1: 2 months; Step 2 CK: 2 weeks; Step 3: two number 2 pencils. This thought process essentially stated that the hardest test was first and then, based on your exposure to real medicine and patients, you’d breeze through the other 2 exams. Ha.

Unfortunately it seems that the culture has changed in the last couple years regarding this philosophy with an even more dramatic change in the last few months. It used to be that a good step 1 score meant that you postponed taking step 2 in order to avoid looking like a real dumbass (should your score be fairly low), or taking the test but hiding the results in your ERAS.

Those are, much to my surprise, no longer options for this year. Many programs will not offer you interviews without knowing you’ve taken and passed the exam while being fully able to see your score for these exams. You can’t hide it anymore. That was huge news to me since I had planned on doing that till last week.

Yes, after moving my test up a week I’ve taken a simulated exam that scared the hell out of me. I had serious anxiety and discussed postponing the test, buying another Qbank (since I’m 100% done with Kaplan’s), and dropping my elective starting next week to prepare more thoroughly.

Then I took a breath, reviewed my scores, reviewed my progress, and paid for a NBME diagnostic exam (best estimate for Step 1 last year) and have felt a huge burden lifted. No, I’m not in the same realm as my Step 1 score, but that’s probably not going to happen. I did not prepare myself like I did last year and nothing's going to change that.

I have resigned myself to this fact and evaluated the score I was estimated to receive - 233. That’s good. Really good. So why am I freaking out about not being higher? Exactly, fuck it.
I’ve reached a good healthy level of anxiety - not too little, not too much. Hopefully this carries over on Friday.

So, with that lengthy discussion of boring test minutia, no more updates till after the exam is over - I need to read some of my notes and review weak areas. Then I’m getting toasted Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Done with this shit.

Bad Day

Ever have one of those days were everything just doesn’t go your way? I had that yesterday, which resulted in me almost plowing my car into a light pole just to end the misery. Not really, but you get the point – no, I AM NOT suicidal, just maniacal. My car was almost hit 4 times either leaving my apartment or during the morning rush hour, I realized I'd forgotten my study materials and had to turn around when I was almost to the school, I had computer issues all day long resulting in low test scores (I hope it was because of this), and was stuck in traffic from 6pm-7pm because it fucking rained when I tried to get home.

Because I was so stressed I had a clove cigarette while sitting in the rain for the first time in while. My car door was soaked, but it helped - a little (and don't get going on the dangers of smoking here; I've had this clove pack for almost 4 months now so I really don't think I'm in much danger of cancer or COPD!).

To top the day off, while trying to get something to eat for dinner last night I completely annihilated the package of shredded cheese I was fighting to open and was forced to spend about half an hour cleaning up the mess. And, to add insult to injury, when I truly needed a beer we had none in the fridge. GOD!

My friend told me that she feels I need some counseling. Most likely anger management based on her response to a story I regaled her with while we waited to hear about applying for residency. I guess damn near throwing a pen into the wall because you’re computer’s internet connection is fucking around with you while taking practice tests is not “normal” Hmm, who knew?

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

I did an incredibly stupid and completely embarassing thing this week. To say that it was negligent is a little far, but I'm sure if this goes to a trial it would be found that way.


Yeah, you read that right. This event could, if the patient wanted to, go to trial. I'm not going to discuss what the infraction was that I committed, but needless to say it was not done with malice of forethought. Rather I was just trying to be proactive and fucked up royally. My ability to think ahead was apparently impaired and I went about the task without considering the magnitude of the undertaking at hand. When I informed the nurses of my findings their looks and gasps were enough for me to understand how truly screwed I was.


I was talked to at least 4 times yesterday by increasingly higher levels of power within the OB/GYN program. Just grateful that they were understanding to a degree, but I could sense how concerned they actually were. When you're scrubbing into a C-section and get pulled out, already gowned up, you begin to understand how big a deal this is. When they use the terms: "You could go to jail for something like this" (well actually the nurse said that, but still) you're apprehension heightens.


And all of this after I hated this rotation so much, but have begun to get a feel for it, feel like I can accomplish some tasks without being completely deflated and demoralized, and was not dreading everyday as I had the first couple weeks. But now...

Stupid, stupid, stupid.